Ron Smith, Circa 1996

The Mexican "Wave & Whale" Adventure!

Ron Smith Memorial

Ron Smith, beloved father, grandfather, and friend passed away on Friday, October 5th. The Smith/Stone Family would love for you to join them in remembrance and celebration of Ron's life in a Memorial Paddle Out on Sunday October 14th, at 10:00 am, at the South End of Bolsa Chica State Beach. 

10:00 am - "Paddle out" - south end of Bolsa Chica
2:00 pm - Memorial at his house in Long Beach

The family requests donations to the Surfrider Foundation in lieu of flowers.

If you require more information, please contact 949-500-1052 or email newportsoulsurfer@yahoo.com.

"Like a Child"

Mt 18:3-4 - "...'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"

Mt 19:14 - "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

It is the Lord's timing that I would come across these verses in my devotional time. In my previous entry I mentioned the quote, "Is pride keeping you from feasting at the table of grace?"

For me it has been, but I am "practicing" on not having it be this way. It's not that I want to be the greatest-- I just want to experience Him fully and abundantly since I haven't done so in so many years. Humility is something I'd like to practice as well and I know that my immediate people in my circle of influence is the place to do that. In this I will serve by loving and praying for them regularly and placing their interests above my own (Php 2:3).

I came across this Dallas Willard article today. It's good for a read...

Spiritual Direction Meeting - 4/8/2011

Today was a tearful meeting for me with Lynn. I've got to write this question down somewhere since it was given to me last night and I don't want it to escape me:

"Is pride preventing you from feasting at the table of grace?"

In my meeting I shared with Lynn all the "stuff" I have been going to and acknowledge that I am broken, hurting and in need all so many different levels. From being a husband/father, to worker, friend and Follower of Jesus. I communicated to Lynn that I feel like I have fallen short in all of these areas and have been failing to "be what I need to be" for all the people whom I love and care for in my life, particularly Tracey and Jordi. Tracey and I had one of our largest arguments since being married on Sunday, April 3rd. Basically it was a culmination of all the personal struggles I have listed above. In my meeting with Pete on Wednesday night he said it sound as if I'm letting the worries of my life weaken my guard, which is allowing the evil one to manipulate my weakness of receiving grace.

Lynn asked where these "expectations" are coming from. It is then that I realized that I'm creating them for myself-- which comes from the "compare" game that I play with other fathers/families in our lives. I try to measure what I believe is a "good and successful" man to the others I see. With that, I have myself believing that I am weak, ill-prepared, not able to provide and a poor spiritual leader. Lynn followed up by asking, "Do Tracey and Jordan tell this to you?"-- for which the answer is "no". If anything they are loving, caring and understanding, but it is a challenge for me to receive their GRACE. Which is an issue I am struggling with in my relationship with Christ. Basically, this struggle in transferring to my earthly relationships.

Lynn then asked me to describe God the Father. The first thing that came to mind was "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE". She then asked, "How does He want me to be like?". I responded, "Like a CHILD." She replied to me, "That's an interesting response. Do you think He's telling you to something?". The obvious answer is "Yes." He wants me to receive His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE like a CHILD, in His freely-given GRACE. So much more to write-- I'll have to continue in on another entry.

Mt 6:33,

Rob

Mt 5:3 - "Blessed are the poor in spirit...

"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven."

I read this this morning and felt the prompting to dwell on this statement. Given what has been going on from in all areas of life right now it is easy to feel as if there is a major trembling in my life. Things like job security, finances, new family circumstances, care for Jordi, Jordi's future, mine and Moo's future, and so much more. I am overwhelmed-- and I only know to go to Him-- my Father in heaven. I am so in need of His strength and courage because of all of these things. I have not felt this unstable or insecure for many years, but my life experience tells me that God wants me to rely more heavily upon Him. It is difficult when the environment around me shows that things are going to get worse but I'm trying to live out Ro 5:3:

"...And we rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God. Not only so, we rejoice in our sufferings..."

How am I to make all of this work? It's simple. I'm not.

Lord, I pray for Your strength and courage-- and Your Holy Spirit to fall upon me. Direct my paths in a way that I can be a good steward of what you have blessed me with and have allowed me to care for. Give me Your wisdom and guidance to make the right decisions with clarity. I pray the same for Moo for her new position.

I thank you that you would even listen to my cries and pleadings.

Your servant, Robert

Spiritual Direction Meeting - 2/4/2011

In my spiritual direction meeting with Lynn today I was asked, "What has been going on?". A few things came to mind from our previous meeting on 1/11/2011 that I was really struggling with-- particularly with the challenges/prayers that had been placed before me, which were "...that I would know of His love for me that I would know how to love others has Him," and to "...have the 'tough' conversations with Brett."

It was peaceful in know that the first sense or word that came to me was "celebration" when it came to describing my current disposition in these areas. I don't claim to have overcome these things by any means, but I feel as if I'm beginning to grasp what it is Lynn is advising and what the Lord is doing in my heart and life. Lynn referred to it as me "practicing" what the Lord was revealing to me. The Lord is showing me that my desire to earn His favor (and others' favor) was not the proper heart-set to be in. 6-9 months ago, I would find my identity in working/earning His and others' favor. It was a way I would determine my worth in Him and to other people. The word "appeasement" came to mind which has such a negative connotation to it. I discovered that I'm in a season where I am practicing receiving His grace and His peace. In this, I'm practicing a new strategy that is based on the Lord rather than applying my old one based on my understanding of worth and approval.

In this it has become a battle within my heart that pits Unconditional Love versus Earning-- or, Approval versus Grace in God, family, and friends. This process is forming me to be more like Him and has me in a season of reconnection, renewal, restoration, reconciliation and recalibration with those around me, but more importantly with God, Tracey, Brett and Jordan. I'm seeing things in a new light, new paradigm with less distortions.

God has me sensing-- as He did back in late August that, "I (He) got this." It's a good place to be. The verse that came to Lynn's mind was Matthew 11:28-30 that says:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

The questions I need to continue ask myself are:

1. What does grace mean?
2. What does not having the "title" at ROCKHARBOR mean?

The second was a minor issue I brought up, but Lynn referred me once again to the favor/earning issue above and reminded me of GRACE. For some strange reason I came to the ROCKHARBOR Staff page and they had Community Pastors listed. It was odd not seeing mine and Tracey's names not there. Six months ago, I might have reacted differently, but I was reminded of the purpose of the Sabbatical (or break from ministry) Tracey and I took that started in June of 2009. Since then, we have rebuilt our relationship with family (Mom, Spring, Dad, Brett), friends (too many to name), but most importantly our marriage (and family with Brett & Jordan).

Thank You, my Father in heaven. Please help me set my heart and mind on the things that have your fingerprints on. Let me find my way to You and Your way. It is you I love and for you I live. Let me reflect you in all that I do.

Love,

Your son, Ye-- of little faith.

John Wooden Quotes

John Wooden was not only the greatest basketball coach EVER, but also an incredible man of faith whose words of wisdom speak to me deeply.

Check this out: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/23041.John_Wooden